Summer is well and truly here and it's been super hot.  This evening we finally had a bit of rain, but it was nothing to write home about and didn't really even wet the path.  It did make the air smell nice and fresh though.  The down side of hot days is also hot nights.  I now have a fan in my bedroom and use it most nights.  The duvet is hardly being used and sometimes even the sheet is too hot. I'm kind of glad I don't have to share the bed with anyone ;0)   The down side of not sleeping under a sheet however is that you become a smorgasbord for the mozzies.  I obviously have tasty blood cause they sure seem to enjoy feasting on me.  I have sprayed my room and searched  high and low but I can't find the little blood suckers.  I'm thinking of putting on a new cologne before bedtime called insect repellent.

Last time I wrote I promised an update on my ankle - well there isn't really much to report.  The Doc thinks it might be a sprain and that the lump might be a cyst.  He is going to refer me to an orthopedic person, however it could take some time as the wheels at the hospital don't always move very quickly.  So for the time being I just have to live with it and take the painkillers the Doc gave me which are also anti inflam tabs.  If I am on my feet a lot the ankle is very swollen and sore by the end of the day but usually come morning it has gone down again.  Please pray that an appointment comes sooner rather than later.

Last weekend I had Noah and Tilly come to stay for 2 days and 2 nights.  I was a wee bit apprehensive, but it actually went better than I thought it would.  The hardest part was not having anyone here to help 'share' the load and that made me miss Roy very much.  Maybe for these occasions I need to 'hire an Opa'!!   Noah was not keen to stay to begin with and we had a lot of tears.  It was actually not about staying at Oma's, it's about Mama leaving him behind. He does it when he goes to Daycare as well.  The fact that Tilly was being left behind too made no difference.  He soon settled down and to show how fickle he is come Sunday morning when I said that Mama and Papa would soon be here to pick him and Tilly up he said he didn't want to go home.  Silly boy.

It's weird really because as tiring and busy as it was having Noah and Tilly it was also wonderful - maybe because for a short time I felt I had a purpose and was needed.  I did miss them when they had gone and the house was very quiet.  Noah is a real chatterbox and always has lots of questions.  He is fascinated with the Monarch butterflies that he sees flying in my garden.  I have a Milkweed tree (Swan plant) in my garden which is finally doing really well and the butterflies have been laying eggs on it - and the plant is surviving the onslaught.  We have done a lot of exploring and talking about eggs, caterpillars, chrysalis' (Noah calls them coons), hatching and butterflies.  This got me thinking and inspired so I sat down and wrote a simple story which pretty much covers the life cycle of a butterfly.  I have used photos I have taken myself and some that I found on the net and a book for children has come together nicely - I am so excited about it.  The story is easy to understand and the photos are amazing.  I have just done it using the same online book making program I used when I made the book about Roy.  I'm not really sure how else to go about it.  I'll post some pics when a copy arrives.

Job wise there is nothing positive to report - 5 applications done already this year and so far 1 negative response.  Experience is telling me that the other 4 are also no goers.  I am left feeling frustrated and annoyed. How do I go about making myself stand out in a crowd?????  How do I 'sell' myself more than I am already doing??????

Sigh!!

People talk about having a bucket list - usually it's the things they want to do before they die.  I have a bucket list of sorts too, on it are the things I want to do once I have a job because then I'll be able to afford to do them.  They're not extravagant things like a world trip, a new car or anything like that. They are everyday practical things that haven't been super urgent but do require a bit more finance than I currently have.   Unfortunately some of those thing have now become a bit more urgent - one of them was to go and get my eyes tested.  It's been about 4 years since I last went and I have noticed that they have slowly been getting a bit worse.  Recently at work I was hand writing out some envelops and everything was just a tad blurry and I even with my glasses on, so I have bitten the bullet and made an appointment at the optometrist for an check-up.

Well  you know how it goes, if it's not one thing it's another so you can imagine how I felt on Sunday evening to suddenly find that a filling had fallen out - yip I was not impressed, in fact I can honestly say I was more than pretty annoyed.  Why now???????????????  Thankfully it doesn't hurt, it just feels funny and there is this rather large hole that my tongue keeps going into.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I am so over it all.  I've had enough, I can't do this anymore, it's too hard, I want someone else to be responsible for a while - stop the world I want to get off!!  I want to kick and scream and throw a two year old style wobbly - but I can't.  I'm a grown up and as a grown up I need to 'suck it up', 'get over myself' and 'get on with it'.  So I guess that's what I'd better do.  First I'll sort out the eyes and then eventually I'll sort out the tooth.

'They' say bad things always come in three's so I've hit the jackpot because I thought my dog Jack was unwell as he had stopped eating.  I suddenly saw a very, very expensive trip to the vet in my very near future - just what I didn't need on top of everything else.  Jack is a mix of chocolate lab and  border collie and he has always had the lab appetite, until Sunday morning that is when he suddenly didn't want his dog biscuits.  No amount of coaxing or cajoling worked.  Noah tried really hard.  He sniffed at the food and walked away.  Sunday night dinner the same thing happened and again on Monday morning - by now I was a wee bit worried, although he did seem his normal self otherwise.  Monday night I made up some beef stock and poured that over the biscuits - still no go.  Thankfully he was still drinking. And yes he seemed to be pooping ok, I went out and checked.  I decided maybe the biscuits in the container were off,  I threw them away and got fresh ones from the bag for him - he wasn't interested.  I did some research via Dr Google and discovered that sometimes older dogs have a change in their food tastes (Jack is 12 so he's getting on), after work this morning I bought a  tin of dog food and as  they also had bones so I grabbed one of those as well.  I am pleased to report that Jack is fine - the tinned food got wolfed down and he was very, very happy with his bone. Tonight for his dinner I did biscuits again and he didn't want them until I  mixed some of the canned food through them and he ate the lot.  Looks like he might be on canned food for a while and I will slowly re introduce the biscuits.  I am just soooooo relieved that there is nothing seriously wrong with him. It would seem he has just become a bit fussy in his old age.

Well I think that is about it.  I'm sorry this blog has been a bit more grumbly than normal - I blame it on birthday melancholy.  Yip on Sunday I'll be turning the ripe old age of 52.  Yahoo - not.  I am actually not in the celebrating mood but maybe that'll still come.  Maybe I should bake a cake - carrot I think with cream cheese icing.  Well I'm not going to do it tonight.  I am going to sign off and go to bed.

Thanks for 'listening' to my rantings and ravings. I do feel a bit better now I have it off my chest.  This blogging thing continues to be very therapeutic for me and I pray that those of you who take the time to read what I write may also be blessed in some small way.

Through all the turmoil and the ups and downs I continue to fix my eyes upon Jesus in whom my hope is found.  He will never leave me or forsake me and I trust that He will continue to supply all my needs.

Until next time, may the Lord watch over you and bless you.

Much love and blessings
Jolanda