After 2 weeks I have finally stopped coughing, almost and am slowly getting my voice back. It still gets a bit croaky towards the end of the day and esp when I'm tired but it's way better than it was. I have had to cancel having Bible Study at my place twice already due to being unwell, so Lord willing this week it will go ahead.
Yesterday was the first day of spring and also another birthday that Roy is not here to celebrate. I spent the day up in Palmy looking after Noah which was nice. He is a good distraction. But it was bittersweet too. It makes me sad that my grandchildren have no Opa and have little or no memory of him. On Sat while doing my much needed housework (haha makes it sound like the place was a tip, but anyone who know me will know that my house is never a tip, I just hadn't dusted in a while) I stopped to look through the photo album I made for Roy about his life - probably not the best plan as it ended in tears - literally, but it did get me thinking about the book I want to make for my grandchildren so that they can know who their Opa was. It's a wee project that will eventually happen just not yet as I'm not sure I'm quite ready yet. At the moment it's still formulating in my head.
I recently did one of those quiz things that are so popular on Facebook at the moment - it was how rebellious were you as a teenager. Mine came in at 16%. I can even name the 2 major rebellious events in my teenage years, although Mum and Dad may be able to name a few more - they were piercing my own ears and sneaking outside to smoke without Mum and Dad knowing - yeah right like they were born yesterday!! Horrors!!!!! What a rebel!!!! Actually I wasn't I never did the night-club scene or the excessive drinking thing. We had parties but that was always with the Church youth-club. I have probably been tipsy once in my life. See I really was a 'good' girl. Recently I read an article (prob while waiting for the Doc at the beginning of August) about the actress Helen Mirren. In it she said - "I'm a would-be rebel. The good girl who'd like to be a bad one. But I’ll never make it as a bad girl…I’m too fearful. Too much of a wimp," Haha that's me. My wild child is well and truly buried I think, however I have discovered that I am way stronger than I ever knew, and every now and then the rebel in me makes an appearance. I like the heady 'freedom' of not being 'answerable' to anyone - except God of course. Sure I'm going to make mistakes, but they're mine to make and hopefully learn from. I'll listen to advise but weigh it up with what I want, need and what I think is going to work best for me. Some people will think I'm plain crazy and that's ok, they can think what they like.
What's she gone and done now I hear you asking?? I guess after that spiel there must be something coming!!
Don't worry it's nothing really drastic like dying my hair purple, getting a nose ring - hmm now there's a thought, or selling up and joining a commune - lol!!!
If you've kept up to date with my blogs you'll remember that back in July (the 29th actually) I wrote about feeling like I had lost sight of the Lord's work in my life and the comfort I found in the words of the song by Stewart Townsend - "In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; my Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand." Well I can now see those words everyday - yip I've gone and had them tattooed on my inner arm. I imagine right now there is a bit of head shaking and tut-tutting going on. It's ok, keep calm and carry on!! I don't have many vises - I don't drink (excessively) I don't smoke, gamble, do drugs but I do like to express myself with body art. It gives me great comfort to see those words - "In Christ alone my hope is found" - and for me a beautiful testimony of where I am in my journey not only as a widow but also in my spiritual life.
So there you go, now you know. Time to pick your jaw back up off the floor. As for me I'm off to make dinner - home made veggie soup. I am definitely loving these evenings now that it's longer light - a sure sign that summer is once again on it's way.
Till next time.
Love and blessings