I am so pleased this week is over.  It started ok and ended ok but the middle wasn't so great.  If I was a superstitious person I'd think I'd jinxed myself by writing about that 'other shoe' last week - but I'm not superstitious, I've just struggled with grief this week.  I'm not really sure why??  Maybe because it was 4 months since Roy's death, maybe it was the letter I received from WINZ,  maybe it was because I was ultra tired from not sleeping well.  I'm not really sure.  I think grief just comes when it comes, it stays for a while and then slowly goes away until the next time.  I think that's just the way it works.  Sometimes it will stay away for a long time and sometimes it just lurks around the corner, but eventually over time with the Lord's help it will become less or maybe just more manageable.

So what did I get up to this week?  I spent Monday with my sister, 2 of her children, Mum and Dad and my sister-in-law.  It was really nice to spend some family time together.

Tuesday I spent the day outside in the garden.  Yes I again did that 'thing' that last week I said I wasn't going to write about ;-)  I also pruned the feijoa tree, planted bean plants and veggie seeds in the garden and fixed the hole in the back of the shed before the rain came.  Maybe I overdid it though because even though I was really tired I slept really really badly that night and I woke up feeling tired and emotional.  Needless to say that set the mood for the next couple of the days, so although I did get a lot of sewing done on Wednesday and Thursday I also cried much more than I have in a long time.  The ache of emptiness and loneliness went very, very deep this week.  Oh how Satan likes to get hold of us at our weakest moments and make us doubt, question why and fret about the future.  He is the master of cunning and worms his way into our thoughts wreaking havoc as he does so.  I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO LED ME ASTRAY.  The Lord is my Shepherd and He WILL guard me well - in Him I will not want nor will I have anything to fear.  Thanks Pastor Charles Price for an awesome sermon tonight on Shine TV.  Just what I needed to hear.

Last time I mentioned that there was a possible matter pending with WINZ - well that proved to be true this week when a letter arrived from them informing me that they were halving my benefit because I had not attended a Work and Income seminar on Monday.  I was not impressed - actually that's putting it mildly I was spitting mad - when I had received the initial letter about the seminar I had emailed them straight away to the email address provided in the letter to let them know that I was unable to attend due to a prior commitment which had been made many weeks earlier.  I also pointed out in the email the steps I had already been taking in finding some work, the course I have enrolled for  and that I needed time to get the business back on it's feet after months of neglect due to Roy's illness and death.  Well apparently they never got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes I definitely sent it to the correct email address - I double checked that straight away.  Why provide an email address with the name of a contact person if you're not going to check it?????????????????  Grrrrrrrrrrrr they are so frustrating.  It's like bashing your head against a brick wall - you only end up hurting yourself and the wall feels nothing.  I now have an appointment with them at 8.30am on Tuesday to sort this whole thing out.  I am bringing along all my proof of job applications and my Open Polytec registration and a copy of my email for their file.  And they better be on time for a change.  Not sure how you can possibly be running behind already at 8.30 in the morning so we'll see what happens.  There could be much more to this story.  Please pray that everything works out.

Speaking of job applications - I have an interview this week for the job I applied for - yippee!!  The job is a short term contract - at this stage - as Admin Assistant for English Language Partners here in Levin.  It is only for 3 hours a week, but it a good starting place.  Please pray that my interview on Wednesday goes well.

As I mentioned I did get some sewing done and I finished the dresses I was making for Inge.  Here are some photos of the 3 new outfits she is getting. Inge herself picked the fabric for the 'Spot' outfit.

My week ended with Noah coming to spend the night on Saturday night so his Papa and Mama could go away and celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary.  It was so nice to look after this handsome wee man.  He was very good, although he did wake at 2am.  He chatted to himself for a while and then I gave him a bottle and he happily went back to sleep.  He was very good in Church too this morning and had a smile for all the ladies who came to see him.  How could you not love this face.

Well I guess that's it about this week.  This week I am going to put my positive hat back on, give myself a kick in the pants and look upwards and forwards.  God will guard me well and I can rest easy in that promise.

Well it's time for a cup of lavender and peppermint tea, to close the curtains and turn the heater on as it's cooling down so I wish you all God's blessing for this week.

Till next time.

Much love
Jolanda