Who'd have thought that I'd be going into politics!?  Definitely not me but I kind of have.  I received an email last 2 weeks ago from the Conservative Party - of which I'm a member - letting me know who the candidate for my area was. The email included contact details if I wanted to help in any way like distributing pamphlets or host a sign.  So without a seconds thought I flicked off an email offering my services to distribute pamphlets and my front berm for a hoarding.  On the Sunday the lady popped in to drop off the pamphlets, I invited her in (not something I usually do with strangers) and we had a lovely chat. Things have kind of snowballed and I am now her secretary of sorts. I manage her database, write and send out letters as required and will help out in her campaign office in Otaki when I can.  Sadly it is unpaid but it'll look good to be able to add this to my CV.  Exciting times ahead and I'm learning a lot, but otherwise things on the job front are very quiet - 3 more applied for and 2 more rejections.  The latest one that I applied for really, really appeals but we'll have to wait and see - it closes next week.

After 2 weeks I have finally stopped coughing, almost and am slowly getting my voice back.  It still gets a bit croaky towards the end of the day and esp when I'm tired but it's way better than it was.  I have had to cancel having Bible Study at my place twice already due to being unwell, so Lord willing this week it will go ahead.

Yesterday was the first day of spring and also another birthday that Roy is not here to celebrate.  I spent the day up in Palmy looking after Noah which was nice.  He is a good distraction.  But it was bittersweet too.  It makes me sad that my grandchildren have no Opa and have little or no memory of him.  On Sat while doing my much needed housework (haha makes it sound like the place was a tip, but anyone who know me will know that my house is never a tip, I just hadn't dusted in a while)  I stopped to look through the photo album I made for Roy about his life -  probably not the best plan as it ended in tears - literally, but it did get me thinking about the book I want to make for my grandchildren so that they can know who their Opa was.  It's a wee project that will eventually happen just not yet as I'm not sure I'm quite ready yet.  At the moment it's still formulating in my head.

I recently did one of those quiz things that are so popular on Facebook at the moment - it was how rebellious were you as a teenager.  Mine came in at 16%.  I can even name the 2 major rebellious events in my teenage years, although Mum and Dad may be able to name a few more - they were piercing my own ears and sneaking outside to smoke without Mum and Dad knowing - yeah right like they were born yesterday!! Horrors!!!!!  What a rebel!!!!  Actually I wasn't I never did the night-club scene or the excessive drinking thing.  We had parties but that was always with the Church youth-club.  I have probably been tipsy once in my life.  See I really was a 'good' girl. Recently I read an article (prob while waiting for the Doc at the beginning of August) about the actress Helen Mirren.  In it she said - "I'm a would-be rebel. The good girl who'd like to be a bad one.  But I’ll never make it as a bad girl…I’m too fearful. Too much of a wimp,"  Haha that's me.  My wild child is well and truly buried I think, however I have discovered that I am way stronger than I ever knew, and every now and then the rebel in me makes an appearance. I like the heady 'freedom' of not being 'answerable' to anyone - except God of course.  Sure I'm going to make mistakes, but they're mine to make and hopefully learn from.  I'll listen to advise but weigh it up with what I want, need and what I think is going to work best for me. Some people will think I'm plain crazy and that's ok, they can think what they like. 

What's she gone and done now I hear you asking??  I guess after that spiel there must be something coming!!  

Don't worry it's nothing really drastic like dying my hair purple, getting a nose ring - hmm now there's a thought, or selling up and joining a commune - lol!!!

If you've kept up to date with my blogs you'll remember that back in July (the 29th actually) I wrote about feeling like I had lost sight of the Lord's work in my life and the comfort I found in the words of the song by Stewart Townsend - "In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; my Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand."  Well I can now see those words everyday - yip I've gone and had them tattooed on my inner arm.  I imagine right now there is a bit of head shaking and tut-tutting going on.  It's ok, keep calm and carry on!!  I don't have many vises - I don't drink (excessively) I don't smoke, gamble, do drugs but I do like to express myself with body art.  It gives me great comfort to see those words - "In Christ alone my hope is found" - and for me a beautiful testimony of where I am in my journey not only as a widow but also in my spiritual life.

So there you go, now you know.  Time to pick your jaw back up off the floor.  As for me I'm off to make dinner - home made veggie soup.  I am definitely  loving these evenings now that it's longer light - a sure sign that summer is once again on it's way.

Till next time.

Love and blessings

Jolanda

I'm over August.  The sooner it's finished the better.  August has not been a good month for me health wise.

I started the month with a tummy bug thanks to a visit to the doctor.  I think!!  I had to go and see the doc as I needed some new scripts.  Because I haven't actually seen a doctor since October last year they booked me in.  After a 45mins wait I saw the doc for a total of probably 5 minutes and was then charged a hefty bill.  I really think you should get a discount for the time you have to wait after you appointment has passed.  Anyway I left with the needed scripts and as it turns out the tummy bug had secretly hitched a ride too.  I felt ok the rest of the day although I did have a bit of a headache and at dinner time I felt a bit light headed, but I thought that maybe I'd just stood up to fast.  Joel had kindly bought Indian for dinner - mango chicken for me with a garlic naan.  However after dinner things were not sitting quite so well - garlic and I don't usually get on very well even though I love it so I thought that was probably the problem.  As the evening progressed so did the feeling of un-wellness.  Finally after a very restless night with a number to trips to the bathroom the mango chicken and rice and I finally parted company.  What a relief!!!  I sure felt better once my tummy was empty.  I can tell you I was very, very pleased I'd taken a bowl to bed cause there was no way I'd have made it to the bathroom in time.  Throwing up really, really sucks, even more so when you're all by yourself.   Needless to say Indian is not going to be on the menu for a while, in fact anything that has rice in it is a no go for a while I think. Shudder!!!!!!

I spent the next day (Saturday) on the couch in the lounge.  My Mum - bless her - was my angel of mercy delivering a big bottle of lemonade and a box of chicken cuppa soup - just the thing for sick tummies.  In between sleeping I watched one of my favourite shows from the 80's on DVD - Remington Steele - nothing like watching a suave and very good looking young Pierce Brosnan to help you feel a bit better. Amazingly even though I slept off and on during the day I slept really well that night too.  Sunday and Monday were quiet stay at home recovery days as I was pretty tired and weak from not eating for a few days.  I had planned to go and look after Noah on Monday as I woke feeling pretty good that morning, but after my shower I was just worn out so thought it best to spend the day at home.

Thankfully by the following weekend I was well again and off I went down to Christchurch for a long weekend to see Tim and Yvette and to finally meet my new grandson Asher.  He is a bonny wee lad who looks very much like his daddy as a baby. It was so nice to have Oma cuddles with him.  Richard, Aimee and Noah came along too and we had a wonderful weekend together.   Interestingly Noah wasn't too interested in Asher.  Maybe it's a boy/girl thing because I remember Inge being very interested in Noah when he was a baby.  She was all over him.  The weather was beautiful the whole time we were there although nippy esp at night and the company was even better.  We  were also able to Skype with Ryan, Ineke and Inge which was really nice.  On Monday afternoon we headed home again arriving in a wild, windy and very wet Wellington.  The landing into Wellington was one of the bumpiest I've ever experienced.  We were really pleased when we finally made it down.

Now that I'm home I am sick again - this time I have a terrible cough.  I cough so much that by the end of the day I have a headache.  I also have a croaky voice, a sore chest from coughing so deeply and at times a bit of a temperature.  I'm also really tired but I guess all the coughing will do that.  All in all I feel blah and I'm praying that this cold will soon be gone.  I started August with being sick and it looks like I'm ending the month that way too.

So between being sick and tripping to Christchurch I have also worked, applied for 2 more jobs, and finished knitting and finally sewn up a cute jersey for Noah - love the knitting part but hate the putting together part.  I also did a bit of sewing - friend  needed 2 new wheat bags for her Mum so I whipped them up for her.  It actually felt good to get behind my sewing machine again and the urge to sew is coming back, esp as I bought some lovely fabric so I can sew some dresses for my favourite grand daughter.  The problem  though is that my sewing room is a mess and in serious need of some attention.  I hate working in clutter - when I get my energy back I'm going to do a HUGE spring clean.  At the moment I only go in there to dump stuff or to get the vacuum cleaner.  I better be careful I don't become like the hoarders you see on TV.

Well I think that's about it from me for the time being I'm off to read for a while before going to bed..

Thanks for your continued love, support and prayers.

God bless.

Love and hugs
Jolanda

PS: If this contains more mistakes than normal I apologise, blame it on the cold. ;0)

I know it's been a while since you've heard anything from me.  I have been meaning to write but couldn't. Why haven't I felt like writing?? Because I've been stuck!!  I've been in a funk or maybe a rut is a better way to describe it.  I've lost my direction and I hate to admit it I've lost a bit of my sparkle and enthusiasm.

Maybe it's a winter thing, but the last few weeks have been pretty hard going.  It's been so bad that I've even stopped going swimming in the morning - mind you the freezing mornings have definitely had something to do with that, but I'm not even motivated to take Jack to the dog park when the weather is good.  I don't sew anymore either - I have a number of unfinished things waiting for attention and I have no interest at all.  The only time I enter my sewing room these days is to get out the vacuum cleaner - see it's bad  I'm definitely in a rut!!!!

Now don't get me wrong the last few weeks haven't been all bad - there have been plenty of high points/blessings but these have been a wee bit overshadowed by the lower points.  Over the last few weeks I applied for 3 more jobs and got 3 'rejections' back.  That really has put a dampener on my self confidence and has left me feeling very disheartened.  I guess I'm itching to get on with my life, move forward if you like and I'm not sure how or where I'm meant to be going.

So how do I move forward??  I'm past the coping, sorting, coming to terms stage, I'm ready for the what's next stage but I have no idea how to move forward from the rut I now find myself in.

I want????????????????????????  I want??????????????????????????  What do I want????????????

I want my old life back - a happy content life where I am financial stable, had a man who loved me, goals and dreams ..............

These days the goals and dreams seem too hard.  I'm tired, lonely and yip feeling very VERY sorry for myself.

And then the Lord gave me a much needed kick in the pants with some very thought provoking sermons, a wonderful series of books I've just finished reading and here I am feeling like blogging again.

I have become anxious because I have lost sight of the power and work of the Lord in my life.  God is my refuge and fortress, in Him I trust (Psalm 91:1-2).  I can trust that He is in control of all things for He takes a personal interest in my life.  God claims my trust for He has done great things for me through the death and resurrection of His Son.  To quote the words of a favourite song - In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; my Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand.

And so I strive to stop trying to do things in my own strength but to rely daily on His strength.  I strive to seek Him daily for my comfort and peace.  I strive to work on being patient, on waiting on the Lord to reveal the path He has set before me, a path which will be revealed in His good timing and I strive for a closer walk with Him.

Is it easy????  Nope I'm as human as any of you, but I know that with the Lord's help I can do it.  As I said I'm itching to move forward with my life but not without the Lord's help and guidance.

I think I need to make some new friends, not that I don't love my old friends but some single friends could be nice too.  It's a funny dilemma really because as a couple you have mainly couple friends, but now I'm single I sometimes feel out of place in the couple friends scene - kinda like a third wheel. Now I'm not sure how to go about making new single friends bar putting a sign around my neck that reads 'single and available' - lol!! which probably isn't a very good or very wise plan at all.  Actually the thought of 'putting myself out there' to make new friends is a wee bit scary so I'm not going to worry about it and I'll just leave it all in the Lord's hands.  He's got it sorted I'm sure ;0)

On the subject of friends I have been instrumental in getting 2 new groups up and running in the last month or so for the ladies from Church.  One is a fortnightly afternoon coffee fellowship group for the older ladies in the congregation most of whom prefer not to go out at night.  We bring along something to do (eg: knitting, embroidery, crochet) if we want and otherwise the focus is on fellowship and spending time together.  We have between 8-10 ladies who attend when they can.  The other is a monthly evening ladies group which has been named GIGGLES (I can see you smiling). GIGGLES stands for Girls In God, Growing, Loving, Eating & Sharing. We got together for the first time last week with a meal and movie night.  Ten ladies attended and we had an awesome and fun filled night.

What else have I been up to since I last wrote??

I've been working some extra mornings at work which has been great.  In fact I am now doing an extra morning every fortnight.  I had a wonderful dinner out at my brother and sister-in-law's place, an awesome day out with my sister chicks in Paraparaumu - it always does my heart good spending time with these beautiful and wise sisters in Christ.  I had a catch up day with my sister and her children when they came up to Levin for a visit.  I had a Skype session with my new grandson Asher - well actually with his daddy and mummy, but he was there even if he slept through it.  I made a day trip up to Ingelwood with Mum and Dad to pick up the newest member of their family - a dog.  I've been out with the GIGGLES group, attended the coffee fellowship afternoon group twice, I  finally finished and washed the baby shawl for Yvette, looked after Noah as usual on Mondays and managed to read 3 books. Oh I also applied for the 3 jobs I wrote about earlier which I didn't get, served customers, delivered orders, worked on TradeMe, did the usual housework, laundry and lawns.  Sounds really busy that's for sure.

I'm looking forward to making a trip down to Christchurch soon to spend some time with Tim, Yvette and Asher.  So looking forward to having  Oma cuddles with this precious wee boy.

I'm off to do some knitting, I'm working on a jersey for Noah.

May He who hold us all in the palm of His hand be with you this week.  May He watch over you and bless you all.

Till next time.

Love and blessings
Jolanda

Wow 2 blogs in one week - well I did say I'd post something when I have news.

I feel very blessed to let you all know that I have another grandchild. 

Introducing Asher Roy Nugteren.

Born at 3.01pm 1st July and weighing in at 9lb.

What a blessing from the Lord this precious little man is. 

To be honest I have very mixed emotions - although I am very, very happy at Asher's birth  it is tinged with a bit of sadness as I miss having Roy here to share this wonderful moment with.  You think when you've passed 1 year that you've faced all the firsts but it's not true. Odd ones pop up when you least expect them.  I'm sure there will still be others to face that I'm not even aware of.

Brrrrrr I think winter has finally arrived.  It is very cold today and I think there will be a good dumping of snow on the hills.  That'll be the first this winter.   I always love snow on the hills - it gives Levin a holiday town feel.  Makes for a cheap holiday ;0)

Stay warm those of you who are suffering from the cold.

Till next time.

Love and blessings

Jolanda

I'm feeling tired.

Not physically tired, but mentally and I guess a bit emotionally tired too.  Maybe it's the winter blues or maybe the year that has been has finally caught up.  What ever the reason I think I need a holiday - somewhere warm, sunny and tropical would fit the bill I think.  Somewhere to laze away the day without a care in the world and recharge my battery - dreams are free I guess!!

Time to get back to reality.

Speaking of dreams - I am sleeping well but boy do I dream a lot lately.  Actually maybe that's why I'm tired!!  A couple of weekends ago I had Noah come to stay for 5 nights.  Now Noah is really into Bob the Builder so being a good Oma I catered to his likes with some dvd's to watch and a CD with Bob the Builder songs.  Guess who turned up in my dreams those five nights??!!  Yip you guessed it - Bob did.  I don't always remember what I've dreamed about, but sometimes I do and when  I wake up feeling tired  I know I must have had a busy night.

A while ago someone asked me if I'd ever dreamt about Roy and I vividly  remember only 1 dream - probably because it was more of a nightmare and I woke up during it.  It happened probably a month after Roy had died.  I dreamt that we were in bed together and suddenly Roy complained that he was so very, very cold.  When I turned over he was lying there white and stone cold - I remember getting a huge fright and waking in tears.  As far as I know I have not dreamt about him since that time.  I have never ever told anyone about that dream but it has always stayed with me.

The last few weeks have been busy (nothing new there) and have flown by (nothing new there either).  I spent some time with dear friends for Aussie.  It was so good to see them and spend time together.  Thanks John and Trudy you are both a blessing.  Your porridge pot is safely back in the cupboard till you come again.

Noah has also been to stay as I mentioned earlier.  We had a great time although he was a bit under the weather as he was off his food - this definitely means he's sick as he is a fantastic eater.  Thankfully he did sleep well.  I worked out if I put him to bed a bit later than his normal bedtime he would sleep a bit later in the morning and I could get up before he woke and have a shower.  At times like this you sure miss the extra pair of hands and eyes.  We managed well but I was pretty tired by the time he went home.  That saying that says it's nice when grandchildren come and it's nice when they go is definitely true.  I love my grandchildren to bits and love having them come and stay, and although I miss them when they're go again it is also nice to be able to put your house back in order and 'relax' and get back to your own routine.  Oh how quickly we become set in our ways - lol!!!!!

While Noah was with me Aimee and Richard were up in Auckland winning awards and trophies for Melody's New World Bakery at the BIANZ Bakery of the year competition.  Melody's is the third best bakery in New Zealand and they are the supreme winners of the creative cake category.  Below are 2 pics of the cake and the gingerbread house (kombi van) that they made for the competition.  They are both amazing.

GOLD AWARD - Gingerbread house - Christmas Theme - a kiwi Christmas at the beach

GOLD AWARD - Celebration Cake - Gatsby Theme

They also won awards for their bread display and for a variety of specialty breads they now make.  If you want a cake made they're the people to see - some free advertising for Richard and Aimee and Melody's New World ;0)

WINZ has also been in touch as I had to go and see them to be reassessed for my job seekers allowance. I filled all the info in online and then went in to see a very nice gentleman who told me I was an easy customer to deal with - I guess that's a good thing!!  While I was there I talked to the job broker about a job I was interested in and I had to send her my CV.  So that's another job applied for.

The job at Kindy has come to an end - a) because I resigned and b) because the parent has decided to keep his daughter home because of the cold weather.  I have been at Kindy 5 weeks and seen the child 2 morning!!  I've come to realise during these last 5 weeks that I have outgrown Kindy (now that is really saying something for me), it just isn't what I want to do work wise anymore - I'd rather do photocopying.  Actually this has become the joke at my job at ELP (English Language Partners). We always have plenty of photocopying to do and it isn't the most exciting task.  Recently my boss asked me to ring around all the schools in the Kapiti area to ask if  we could place a small ad in their newsletters to advertise our services.  Now I hate making phone calls (probably why I'm not a telemarketer)  I told my boss that he was making me step outside my comfort zone and he knew it was bad when I said I'd much rather do photocopying.  It has now become our gauge on how good or bad a job is - lol!!  Thankfully there are not many jobs that are worse than photocopying!!  I am blessed to have some extra hours become available at ELP which is great and will make up for not working at Kindy.

The Rawleigh business has also 'come alive' again with a few more email/phone orders.  I have also (today actually) dropped off all my knitted items at a store here in Palmerston North.  They will be sold on consignment with the shop taking a 20% cut.  I am very excited about this and the lady loved the items I brought in so it'll be interesting to see how they go.  They will also take custom orders if people want a certain style but in a different colour - in fact one of the ladies who works in the shop loved that knitted hat that Noah was wearing so much that she has already put in an order for her 3 year old.  Mum you could well be busy ;0)

I got my tax forms filled out with some help from my brother and sadly I made a loss of neg $17 this year.  Not a great way to run a business so I def have to fine tune a few things I think. All a learning experience that's for sure. A profit is definitely something to strive for this coming financial year I'd say.

Well I think that's it from me for now.  I had hoped to tell you that baby Nugteren had arrived, but he hasn't - he is taking after his father who was 10 days late.  As soon as I know I'll let you all know.  In the meantime prayers for a safe and smooth delivery are welcome.

Wishing you all a wonderful week whatever you're doing and where ever you are.  Stay safe.

Until next time.

Love and blessings

Jolanda 

Today it is one year since the Lord called Roy home to be with Him.  At 2.20am on the 8th June 2013 Roy finished his earthly walk and is now resting safely in the arms of his Lord and Saviour. 

Why God does this is still the HUGE unanswered question - a question that will probably remain unanswered this side of glory.  Why was it so important for the Lord to call Roy home when he still had so much more to do down here with those who loved him.  I sometimes still struggle with the why of it all and yet knowing the answer won't change what has happened, nor would it make things any easier to dear.   We can trust that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 even if we never understand the 'Why"!

I guess it has been a good day today although I have shed a lot of tears (quite a few writing this blog to be honest), but I guess that is to be expected.   There has been sadness at the loss of Roy, but also tears of sadness for my children - some of whom struggle with the loss of their father. This hurts my heart very much.

We decided to make today a family day so Joel and Tia picked me up this morning and we spent the day in Palmy with Aimee, Richard and Noah.  It was a lovely day, we spent some time at the beautiful Esplanade feeding the ducks, looking at the birds in the aviary and watching Noah have a great time on the slide.  Later while Noah had a sleep we played a couple of games and had a Skype session with Tim and Yvette. After a wonder roast lamb dinner with Yorkshire puddings all prepared by Richard we also Skyped with Ryan, Ineke and Inge over in England.  It was really nice to be able to spend time together even if we are far apart and Noah and Inge really enjoyed seeing each other.

I guess the first anniversary is a time to reflect on the year that has been. 

Those who have been following my blog will agree a lot has happened in this last year.   This past year has been filled with blessing  - a new grandchild on the way (due end of this month), celebrating my 50th with family and friends, good health, and the everyday blessings we so quickly take for granted.  God has been gracious and has seen me safely through even if the journey has not always been easy.  I am adjusting to my new normal even if there are aspects of it that I don't like.  I have discovered who I am as my own person not just as the wife/widow of Roy and mother of my children.  I am stronger and more resilient than I actually knew I was.  I have discovered thing about myself that I didn't know existed - a strength,determination and grace that can only be God given.  I have learnt to trust the Lord for all things, to stand up for myself, to make my own choices and to not be afraid to say what I think.  It is not in my nature to wallow in self pity - even if I do have moments when I just wish the world would stop so I can get off.

In practical terms I've learnt a lot too - I'm really good at mowing lawns now,  I can pump petrol and check the oil (note to self to do that this week).  Haven't had to change a tire yet but that's why I have an AA card. I wield a mean pruning saw and am pretty handy with a rack and a spade too.  I have kept my business running, started 2 new jobs, lost 15kg's, started and maintained my aqua jogging regime 4 mornings a week and through that and my job meet new people.

And yet .......... 

I find myself wondering when people ask how I'm doing if I'm actually being honest when I say I'm doing well. 

I guess all things considered I am doing well and yet how do I explain that the biggest thing I struggle with is loneliness.  That there is a HUGE empty ache in my heart.  

Now I know that some of you will say that I need to look to the Lord to fill that ache and I know that He does and will, on a spiritual level.  What about on a physical level?  I am 50 years old (young), I was engaged at 17 and married at 19 to a wonderful man for almost 30 years.  I expected we would spend our lives together until we were old and grey, but now I'm alone and I hate it - there I've said it.  I hate being alone.  I have conquered many thing over this last year except this one thing - loneliness.  How do you get over the empty feeling of having once been the love of someones life and now you're not because they're gone?  How do you get over the loneliness of coming home to an empty house day after day, of having no one to share with, to discuss  things with and to spend evenings with?  No one to take you out on 'date night', to walk along the beach with or to go away on a romantic weekend with.  How do you get over the loneliness of an empty bed night after night and waking to that same empty bed morning after morning, to no hand to hold, no arms to hold you tight, no kissing, no cuddling, no intimacy and no sex (blush! there I've said that too)?  

I mourn deeply today for all these things that I no longer have.  The thought of living my life alone brings me to tears.  Will that loneliness ever go away??????  I'm not sure since I'm only 1 year into this journey.  I know I have weeks where the loneliness is buried deep and I just get on with life.  Maybe because of what today is the feeling are much more raw and the loneliness is so much more profound.  I pray daily that the Lord will give me the strength and the courage to face the days, weeks, months and years ahead no matter what they bring.  That He will quiet the longing in my soul and grant me His peace.

Maybe this blog should have come with a warning at the beginning about a soul being laid bare!!  As I said earlier today actually this past week has been about reflecting on the year that has been and although it has been a year of growth and many, many, many blessings it has also been a year of struggle as well and I guess I just needed to share that part of it in this blog - I always feel much better once I've put things into words..

I do want to take a moment to say a HUGE thank you to all those who take the time to read my blog every time I post something - I know it's not always that exciting but thanks for following my journey.  To those who have supported me during this past year with their prayers, cards, visits, words of encouragement, acts of service and gifts - thank you.  I feel very blessed by each and every one of you and you have all made this journey that much easier to travel. May the Lord bless you.

In 4 minutes it'll be a new day and in a way the beginning of a new year.  So Happy New Year to me - lol!!!

Time to get some sleep or Noah and I will both be taking a nap tomorrow.

Till next time.

Love and blessings

Jolanda

I started this post yesterday, but it didn't really flow so I decided to leave it and try again today (Tuesday).  I was feeling a bit discombobulated yesterday - I'm not really sure why, although I am starting to suspect that the trip to Wellington may have had something to do with it.  I may have to test my theory but popping down that way again soon.

On Sunday we (Aimee, Richard, Noah and I) went down to Wellington for the day - the weather there was stunning with not a breath of wind.  We went to church first - always wonderful to catch up with the lovely people at the Reformed Church of Wellington, many who hold a very special place in my heart - hence why I think I feel a bit unsettled. :0(  After church we went to Jesse and Hannah's for lunch before going to see Dad N to celebrate his 89th birthday.  He seems to be settling in well in the new rest home and it was lovely to have been able to spend an hour or so with him on his special day.  The rest home had set up an area for us in the dinning room and had even provided afternoon tea which was really nice.

The past week has gone well.  I started my teacher aide job at Kindy on a very, very cold Wednesday morning last week.  After 2 hours of being outside I was frozen stiff - it always amazes me how children don't feel the cold and run around on bare feet and in T-shirts with snotty noses.  My kidney's ache just thinking about it. It took me ages to warm up once I got home.  I have decided to take some immune booster cause I see my self being sick come the next school holidays - that's how it's always gone in the past when I worked at Kindy.  I think the little girl and I will get on fine once she gets used to me.  For the time being her Dad will be staying too which is ok.  On Friday she wasn't there but I had a meeting with the Group Special Ed coordinator and have also spoken to one of the Kindy teachers to see if there will be things for me to do on the days then the child is away  because otherwise I feel a bit like a fifth wheel in a center already overrun by teachers and parent helpers.  Time will tell how this will all work out and as it is not a permanent position I continue to apply for jobs.  In fact today I have applied for 2 more jobs.  I'll keep you posted.

On Thursday and Friday afternoons Noah came to visit while his mama and papa were working on the cakes they are making for a competition. Noah is a happy wee chappy who brightens my day and keeps me on my toes.  It is amazing watching a young child develop, explore and grow in understanding about the world they live in. Maybe we have more time to enjoy these stages with our grandchildren than we did with our own children because then we were so busy raising them.

It was nice on Sat to be able to pottered around home - I did some baking to take down to Wellington, caught up on the washing and even did some sewing as I had an order for an apron which still needed to be made -  the sewing went well and has helped me feel inspired to sew again - I've found my sewing mojo it was hiding under a pile of fabric!!  At 4pm I decided to mow the back lawn as it was getting a bit long - it started as an I'll just do this one piece cause it's the longest but quickly progresses to just doing this piece, then that piece and before I knew it I'd done the whole back lawn.  Of course it's never as simple as just quickly mowing the lawn - first I have to pooper scoop (the joys of having a dog!!) and then I have to pick up all the lemons and oranges that keep falling off the trees - they aren't good for the compost as it become to acidic or so I've been told.  Then  when I'm all done, because I have been well taught by my Dad, the lawn mower and the catcher got a hose out so they go away clean. Buy 5 o'clock I was all done and very happy with the way everything was looking. Leftovers for dinner - that's one thing I really hate, cooking for one.  I often still make too much and usually I have no idea what to make.  I'm not a very adventurous cook really.

I have finally had a Skype session with Ryan, Ineke and Inge which was really nice.  It was great to hear how things were going for them over in England and to spend some time chatting with them.  Roll on Dec when they will be back.

Yesterday I looked after Noah at my place instead of at his as Aimee and Richard needed to continue working on the competition cakes with the help of Richard's Nana.  These cakes are going to be a-mazing if the sewing machine cake I got for my birthday is anything to go by.  When I'm allowed I'll post some photos.

I think I might have overdone it while aqua-jogging this morning and I now have an achy shoulder blade.  I could really do with a massage right now to work out the knot.  I might just have to heat a wheat pack and use that instead since there are no handy hands to help out.

Well I'm off to do some crochet - I have a baby shawl to finish before baby Nugteren makes his appearance.  Then next on my list is to finish the birth sample cross stitch for Noah that way I can start the one for baby Nugteren - plenty to do.

Thanks to those who continue to take the time to read what I write.  Have a great week and let your light sign.

Love and blessings
Jolanda