Winter has definitely arrived - we had our first frost last night - brrrrrrrrrr it was cold.  Actually I don't mind a frosty start if it means we get a sunny day like we had today, not that is was warm in the sun, in fact it was bitterly cold outside.  It was 5 degrees on the Post Office clock this morning when I went to work and had risen a whole 2 degrees to 7 when I popped out to do the banking.  I'm not sure what it eventually got too but I suspect it'll have been in the low double figures.  I'm looking forward to seeing snow on the Tararua's - I always feel like I live in a tourist town when there is a good dumping of snow on the hills.  It makes for a cheap holiday.

The upside of winter is soup - it was lovely to come home this afternoon to a house that smelt great thanks to the pea soup gently cooking in the slow cooker. Roll on dinner time.  Pea soup and fresh buns - yum.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks which started with me feeling very 'flat'.  I think some of that feeling was because of  the weather (I don't do endless sunless days very well) and some of it was from having been so busy the weeks before.  I just didn't know what to do with myself even though I had plenty of things I could have done - nothing really appealed.  By the Friday the weather had improved and the sun was out so with a bit of help from my very young helper (Noah had come for a visit) we set about raking up the leaves on the front lawn.  The pile was HUGE and Noah had a ball climbing into it and throwing the leaves about. I managed to stuff the whole pile into the wheelie bin as there were too many to go in the already full compost bin.  On Sat the sun was shining again and it was nice and warm so I decided to have an in the garden day.  The agapanthus needed to have their heads removed so that was the first job, from there I moved on to pruning the wild rose bush on the bank.  It was a prickly job and due to a lack of gloves a scratchy job too.  I conquered the bush but not without it biting back, my hands and arms were covered with scratches and blood.  The next day I had to get Mum to remove some rather nasty thorn splinters from my hands -ouch!  Thanks to Dad I now have gloves - for next time, assuming the rose bush survives the pruning I gave it.  I also pruned (severely) one of the feijoa trees which had only produced tiny fruit for the last 2 years. That's Biblical right!!??   I tell you I am bad news when I have a pruning saw in my hand - no tree is safe ;0)

The lawns also got a haircut - in fact since they were sooooooooo long I thought I'd cut them without the catcher as I'd be forever having to empty it - the plan worked ok except for all the grassy humps that were left all over the lawn.  Being a bit of a perfectionist by nature this new look was just not sitting right so I decided to rake up all the grass, put it into the wheelbarrow - by hand, and then deposited it  from the wheelbarrow into the compost bin - by hand!!!!!!  Phew she was a big job as I have a big back lawn.  The lawn ended up looking not great but better and I got a good workout.  All in all it was a good days work.

This past week I had to go to another workshop at Winz to do with writing a CV.  I was a bit unsure why I had to attend this workshop as last time I'd attended it I was told I was all done and some one would be in touch to see how things were going - I never heard a thing.  So I attended the workshop and was again told at the end that I was now all done and someone will be in touch to see how I'm getting along - I wont be holding my breathe - lol!!!!  I'm not sure what is going on there but it's not very organised.

The job front is still quiet although I have managed to get 4 hours of Teacher Aide work at one of the local Kindy's.  It is just a short term position but it's a start.  As with anything new I'm a bit apprehensive although I'm working at a Kindy I've worked at before about 6 years ago so I do know a few of the teachers which is nice.  I start tomorrow so I'll tell you all about it next time.

I am still  going Aqua-jogging in the mornings at 6am - 3-4 times a week.  This morning it was really, really, really hard to get out of bed.  I hit the snooze button and contemplated staying in bed but since I was wide awake I decided to bite the bullet and go.  To be honest I am amazed myself - I hate getting up on cold mornings, esp out of a snugly warm bed.  Speaking of snugly beds - there is nothing nicer than lying in a warm bed listening to the wind howling and the rain falling on the roof - I find that so relaxing.  Almost as good as lying in bed listening to the sea.

It struck me yesterday that a year ago Roy left home and never came back.  A year ago yesterday Roy went to the hospice to have his meds fine tuned and to be evaluated after his fall on the stairs and he never came home again.  In 2 weeks time a year will have passed without him - only a year - 365 days and yet it feels like a lifetime.   It's such a strange feeling, maybe it feels like Roy has been gone so much longer because the year has been so full of 'stuff' and I've been busy recreating my life - my new normal.  The reality is that life is fleeting and we soon become but a memory in the lives of those who loved us. Life moves on and that's a good thing.  I give thanks to the Lord for His constant care over this last year and I trust that He will be with me in the years to come too.  If I mourn a little that's ok - it's not Roy that I mourn for, he is in the presence of our Saviour.  I shed tears for the life/love I had and for the empty place that has been left behind and the loneliness that brings. For the uncertainty of the future and the scariness of that future, yet there is joy and peace too as I know who holds my future in the palm of His hand and He will watch over me.  I don't know what the future holds - good or bad, but I know who holds the future and in Him I put all my trust.

Until next time.

Love and blessings
Jolanda