I want to say a BIG thank you to the mystery person who sent me a lovely letter and gift in the mail earlier this week.  Your kindness and thoughtfulness was very much appreciated even if I don't know who you are.  I love getting unexpected surprises in the post - it sure beats bills anyday.

In your letter you asked if I was at peace and until this week I thought I was.  However this past week has been a tough week.  Probably a mix of post holiday blues and missing Roy - a lot.  Tears and emotions have been my close companions this week, which I guess is all part of the grieving process.  Some weeks it seems will be easier than others.

I have really felt this week is that the Lord has been trying to get my attention.  I guess it started already with last Sunday's sermon where the Pastor talked about ensuring that whether you are married or single that the Lord is your focus and that in either state you need to be content.  This is what I have been finding the hardest - being content in my singleness.

God's 'prodding' continued with the arrival of the mystery letter as the text at the bottom of the letter was from Philippians 4:4-7 which says:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

And then todays sermon was on that exact same text.

Prod, prod!!

So what have I finally come to understand??

That true peace is not found in positive thinking, good feelings or an absence of conflict.  True peace comes from knowing that God is in control of everything.  I can rejoice because I know that God is there beside me every step of the way.  I need to take the focus off myself and place it on Him, because He will supply all my needs.  When we submit to the will of God we have true peace.

Likewise true contentment can also only be found when I focus on the Lord - will this always be easy???  No not always.  Maybe this discontentment that I have with being single and alone is for the time being my 'thorn in the flesh'!  My daily reminder to focus upwards, because I really have two options, I can let discontentment overwhelm me, let it eat me up inside and in the process become bitter and maybe a bit twisted - inward focusing.
Or
I can give it to the Lord and rejoice in the knowledge that all things are in His loving hands, that everyday He showers me with earthly blessings and He has a good plan for my life.

So I rejoice that because of Christ's great gift to me, salvation through His death on the cross, I can freely go to the Throne of Grace knowing that my petitions will be heard.  I rejoice because death has no dominion over me nor will the grave ever hold me captive.  How can I not rejoice and be upwards focusing.

So back to the question in the letter - am I at peace?  I'm daily working on it.

Am I content??  Not yet, I hate it and it sucks!!!!  Just had to have a wee vent :-) But I am daily working on this too.

No matter how much I may dislike it this is a rocky road that I and many other like me have to travel.  It's a road which although it has some smooth patches, has lots more lumps, bumps and potholes.  Sometimes the going is good and easy, but sometimes the going is hard and discouraging.  It's the path that God has set before me, with His help and guidance the lumps, bumps and potholes WILL become less and the path WILL eventually become smooth again.

Before you start to worry about me my week has had some good patches too - nothing like keeping busy to keep the mind occupied.

Tuesday was a 'P' day as in I processed payments, packed parcels and then posted them.  In the afternoon I also mowed the lawns - again :-)  At the moment with the warmer weather and now rain I'm going to try and do them weekly so I keep on top of them.  I managed to get the back done and the bit outside the gate and then I ran out of oomph - in that I couldn't start the lawn mower anymore as I had no more pulling power!! Fancy that!!! ;-)  I've decided that next time I'm going to start with the front!

On Wednesday I had regained my pulling power and I managed to finish the front lawns including having to lift the lawn mower up onto the bank so I could mow that piece as well.  I'm not so keen on having to mow the bank as the lawn mower is very heavy to lift - son Joel has kindly said he will come and do the bank for me from now on.  By the by if anyone out there ever feels an urgent need to run behind a lawn mower for an hour or so please do let me know, refreshments will be supplied  ;-)

I also managed to get a bit of sewing done this week, I have almost finished the custom orders that I received last week.

This week I also booked the car into the car hospital to get her cam belt replaced. I wanted to get it done before my next trip away.   Hmmm it's going to be a bit more of a costly job than I first thought, but at least they're throwing in a free service.

Yip if you caught that I'm off again soon - this time on a road trip all by myself to visit Ryan, Ineke and Inge in Hastings.  I'll tell you all about it later.

Well that's pretty much my week - I have definitely enjoyed  the glorious weather at the beginning of the week but not so much the last few days which have been wet, although not cold.  I'm a sunshine person - it goes with my usually sunny disposition ;-)

Oh that's the other thing I've done this week I've sat glued to the TV every morning at 8am - like a lot of New Zealanders I suspect - to watch the Americas Cup. Exciting stuff - loving it even if it is a bit nerve wracking!!  Only 1 point to go!!

So that's it from me for another week. This has turned into a super long epistle yet again and if you've managed to read this far congratulations and well done you've made it to the end.  Pat yourself on the back!!

Wishing you God's blessing this week and may we all find true peace in Him.

Love and blessings till next time.
Jolanda