I am emotionally fragile today.  That saying 3 steps forward 2 steps back is how I'm feeling at the moment.  I felt like I had scaled a mountain this week and was feeling great, but since the weekend I feel like I have slipped back down.  A friend reminded me that  I was at least still 1 step ahead which is true.

So why am I feeling a bit low today when I seemed to be doing so well you might be wondering.  Well this weekend was a family weekend with family coming to stay and family celebrations and although it was nice and I did enjoy most of it,  it also made me miss Roy very much.  I am also very tired from too many late nights and when I'm tired I am also much more emotional.  So I think I'll be having an early night tonight to catch up on some much needed sleep.

The past week has been a good week really.  I have managed to get lots done and most days I have been out to take Jack for a walk at the dog park.  He loves it.  As soon as he sees me putting my coat on he is sitting by the front door waiting.  This caused a bit of a problem on Wednesday night when I had to go out after dinner to a Church meeting - another first.  I had my coat on and Jack was ready and waiting.  He hadn't been for a walk that day due to bad weather and even though it was dark he obviously thought better late and never.  Poor chap was very disappointed that he had to stay home on guard duty.

He actually has nothing to complain about as I have been very good with the walks.  As a result I have now had to retire my favourite pair of jeans due to them no longer fitting ......... because they're to big!!  I am so proud of myself and I must say I feel great.  I have a goal but that's a secret. ;0)  The down side is that eventually I'll have to buy new pants which I hate doing as I can never find pairs that are long enough for my long legs (hence the slight sadness at retiring my favourite pair).  For now I'll just continue to tighten my belt and hopefully I won't have to buy anything till summer.

On Tuesday the weather was stunning and I took the following photos while on my walk at the dog park with Jack.

The Tararua Ranges covered in a good coating of snow.

My very snazzy dog walking gumboots

Jack at full run - action shot.

We really are very blessed to live in this beautiful country and to have such a lovely place to be able to go and let your dog run free.  When the weather gets a bit better and warmer I hope to take Jack down to the beach for some long walks.  I love walking along the beach, esp when the sea is a bit wild.

While cleaning up a cupboard this week I came across a box which Roy had called his nostalgia box.  Inside were all sorts of bits and pieces, some things I have kept and other stuff I haven't  - included in the keep pile are all Roy's old bank books including his very first Squirrel school banking book.   The other thing Roy had in the box was all the letters I had written to him when we were going out.  He had numbered them all.  I read through them all and boy was I young!!!!!!  My daughter thought she might like to read them but that is never going to happen, they will never again see the light of day - enough said ;0)

This last week I also managed to get some sewing done which was a great feeling, 3 skirts all done and now I just have 3 dresses to make.  I'm hoping to get them done tomorrow all things going well.

On Sunday night just after 5pm things got very rocky for a short time when a rather large earthquake struck.  It was quite something to be standing in the doorway and feel the house sway from side to side. I came off fine with no damage but other areas where not so fortunate. To all my family and friends in Wellington - my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Well that's it for another week.  I have made good progress mentally and emotionally even if today has seen a small slide backwards.  Sometimes I just have no 'brave' left, but Lord willing with a good nights sleep tomorrow I'll have it back again and I'll be able to once again look forward rather than back.

God bless.

Much love
Jolanda