I hope you all had a safe and blessed Easter and that you didn't over indulge on the chocolate and hot-cross buns. I enjoyed a couple of hot cross buns but there wasn't a single Easter egg to be seen at my place - not sure if I feel deprived or not.  'They' (yip them again) do say chocolate is a fruit so if that's the case it's got to be good for you and therefore should count towards your 5+ a day, or if the researches from Britain are to be believed your 10+ a day.  Hmmmm I feel like chocolate now!!!!

The last 2 weeks have been busy and yet when I look back I'm not exactly sure what with!!

I did give the lawns a haircut, not that it really needed it except to get rid of all the long yellow dandelion flowers. First though I had to collect up all the leaves - my little wheelie bin was full, but I did decide it really was a thankless task as the next day there were more. I must say I am most grateful to the storm that hit us last week Thursday as my front lawn was pretty quickly leaf free and they are now all collected (in a pile even) at the end of my carport - and I didn't have to lift a finger to make it happen.  

We sure did take a hammering last week Thursday - fortunately I didn't sustain to much damage.  Some of the trees look like they've been turned inside out due to the gale force wind but they will eventually bounce back.  A sheet of metal from my front fence came loose and I was very grateful to the neighbour for  rescuing it and storing it somewhere safe away from the wind.  My shade sails also worked themselves loose and I had to brave the wind and of course just at that exact moment the driving rain to get them down before one of the D-rings smashed a window by being flicked about by the wind.  The power was also out for a few hours but came on just in time for dinnertime.

When I look out my lounge window in the distance there is a huge Norfolk Pine tree, that thing was sure bending with the wind and even now it is on a slight lean.  We need a Westerlie to straighten it up again.  The prevailing wind for the Horowhenua is Westerlie so when we get a gale force Easterlie it does quite a bit of damage.  Quite a few fences, sheds and trees came down in the area. The next morning all you could hear was the sound of chainsaws as the clean-up began.  I hope everyone else survived blast of the storm without too much damage.

I take my hat off to the emergency people and the linesmen as they must have been flat out all day if the number of times the siren going off was any indication.

Isn't Autumn a beautiful time of the year??  I love the colours of the leaves on the trees at this time of year - the big tree in my front yard looks like it's on fire with it's red, yellow and orange leaves, so pretty.  Shame that we can't have the beauty of Autumn with the temperature of Summer.  I could do Summer all year round really. These cooler days are not so nice (more clothing layers!) and it means that winter is creeping closer and closer. Dark mornings and dark early at night is also creeping up, along with grey miserable days (maybe). :0(  In case you hadn't guessed yet I'm a sunshine person - love, love the sun!!  I recently did this test thing that is going round on Facebook called 'What flower are you?' and I'm a Sunflower - so there you go, now wonder I love the sun!

Noah came to stay for 3 days/nights last week - his Mama and Papa had some very early starts in the bakery for Easter so Noah came and hung out at Oma's place.  We had a great time and I really enjoyed having him, even if I got very little done.  I did make the most of his nap times to get the odd thing

done and he slept really well at night which meant I did too.  He loves climbing up and down the stairs, he has it all worked out and does it the right way - by the end he was sliding down them.  The cat flap was a great toy and then he discovered the dog door!!!!!  I'm just pleased it hadn't crossed his mind that he would actually be able to fit through it - he just liked putting his hand outside. Hmm note to self - check if he posted any toys out there!!  Noah chatters all the time and although he doesn't really say in words he does copy the sounds you make.  Needless to say taking Noah into Church on Good Friday didn't quite work out as I'd hoped.  I had kept him awake in the hope he'd sleep in Church but no that was definitely not his plan.  He did some singing and then decided it was much more fun to put his fingers in Oma's mouth to stop her from singing.  During the sermon he decided that if the man up the front could talk than so could Noah - he has no concept yet of being quiet.  For the sake of all present I took him out in the hope that a walk might put him to sleep, but that didn't work either.  He did however fall asleep within minutes of being in his car seat for the trip home.

On Saturday afternoon Aimee and Richard came to collect him and I admit I was a bit sad to see him go.  Noah had filled the 'hole' for a few days and when he left I felt a little bit empty. Thankfully the feeling didn't last too long - the therapy was probably putting my lounge back to order by tidying away all the toys and books that were scattered around.  The saying goes - it's nice when they come and it's nice when they go, even if it is just a wee bit sad to see them go.

My sewing machine has been busily working this last week as I received an order for 6 couch cushion covers.  Today I finished them by sewing on the button (30 in total) and tomorrow they will get sent to their new home.  I must say they look awesome.

Work is going really well and I am getting back into the swing of it.  I have applied for another part time position as an office administrator/receptionist.  Yesterday I was asked to come in for a 'chat' so that is sounding promising.  I'll keep you posted.

I am now at home after a pretty hairy trip from Palmy - I've never driven through a thunder storm before.  It was pouring with rain, there was almost as much water on the road as there was coming out of the sky.  To add to the 'party' there was flashes of lightening - like someone was flashing a camera.  Very distracting.  I got to Levin to find what looked like piles of snow (hail actually) on the side of the road and in the paddocks and heaps of flooding.  At home I found that I had water in my garage - a first in all the years I've lived in this house and a very upset dog.  The water in the garage isn't too bad - the rubber mat is pretty wet, but will dry out and some boxes with electrical 'stuff' were wet so I moved the stuff into new boxes and binned the wet ones.  I swept  as much of the water out of the garage as I could - I now have a wet but clean garage floor.  Every cloud.............!!  It sounds like the neighbour behind me has had much more flooding as I can hear a pumping machine running.  The water probably ran down my drive through my property and into his :0(  Oops!!

This photo was taken tonight of the street behind my place - the driver obviously didn't realise how deep it was as he came down the hill!!  He was unhurt thankfully - just very wet and cold.

Well I'm calling it a night and signing off.

Till next time.

Love and blessings
Jolanda

I have a bit of a heavy heart at the moment. Goodbyes are so hard.  I have just had a lovely weekend in Hastings along with my Mum and Dad, my sister and her daughter, we had wonderful family time but it was so hard and sad to say goodbye to Ryan, Ineke and Inge knowing that I won't be seeing them again for a long time - well December actually as they plan to be back then for the wedding of one of Ineke's brothers.  Funny really for although it feels like the year is flying by - we're a quarter of the way through already - yet December seems so far away. On Sunday afternoon the goodbyes were said, the tears flowed, the hugs and cuddles were given and the last waves were waved and just like that life has changed - again.  So for a few days I'll be a bit sad when I think about them and probably the actual departure day later this month will be hard but I know for a fact that they are safe in the Lord's hands and that He has plans for them and for me.  And I pray that one day I'll  be financial enough to be able to go and visit should they still be living in England but that too I leave in the Lord's hands.

In the meantime I will enjoy the blessings I have - my handsome wee man Noah who has just learnt to give kisses and loves to share them and the arrival of new grandchild in June, maybe even a trip or 2 down to Christchurch will be on the cards soon too.  We'll see.

These past 2 weeks have been pretty busy - I got my mortgage all sorted with the bank and am happy with what they have been able to offer me as a longstanding customer.  I have also sorted out my house insurance and now also have content insurance.  Roy had canceled our policy a number of years ago because he reckoned we had nothing of value to insure, but I decided to take it out again although only a small one just so at least I get something should I loose the whole lot.

I have had some quotes to get the car fixed and it is looking to be a pricier job than I'd thought - not that I know a lot about these things.  It looks like I'll be putting in an insurance claim, but first I need to save some money to cover the excess that I'll have to pay.  Thankfully I don't loose my no claims bonus as I have one for life - that is a blessing. The car is costing me a bit at the moment - it needed 2 litres of oil before I went to Hastings (note to self to check this a bit more regularly) and now it has blown a headlight bulb. If it's not one thing it's another :0(

The other thing I've done since I last wrote was make a trip down to Wellington with my Mum and Dad for the opening after the alterations to the Reformed Church of Wellington building.  All I can say is amazing!!  The building looks amazing.  What a difference and what an improvement. What I was amazed about was how small the actual footprint of the stage in the upstairs hall was - it always seemed so much bigger when we were using it for Sunday School plays.  It was wonderful to be able to catch up with Wellington church friends (many who are more like family than just dear friends) and we also popped in to see my sis and her family before heading home.  Thank goodness I don't go to Wellington for the weather as it's never so great when I seem to be there, but it really was a wonderful day out.

I  have had good news on the job front.  The funding has finally come through for the job I was doing in the later part of last year and I start again on Wednesday. It is still only one half day a week but I am so pleased to be starting again.  I have also contacted the lady from Group Special Ed, I used to do Teacher Aide work for them before Roy got sick.  She is going to get all the forms sent out that need to be filled in and then I'll be on their books again should something appropriate come up.  As jobs come up that appeal I apply for them and eventually I'll get the one that is just perfect for me - whatever that might be.  In the meantime I trust that the Lord will supply all my needs - spiritually, emotionally, financially and physically.

I was reading an article last week in which the author talked about being in the 'in between' time.  I like the sound of that and I think that's where I'm at at the moment.  The 'in between' is the waiting time - we know something is going to happen but we're just not sure when and sometimes even what!  I think most of us are probably in the 'in between' of something right now.  In fact that's life - it's lots of 'in between' times all joined together.  But for those of us who believe in the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we are definitely in the 'in between' for our hearts desire is to spend eternity for our Lord and Saviour and yet we wait here on earth for that time to come.

The 'in between' time is actually a hard time as we're not really all that good at waiting on the Lord, we tend to get a bit antsy, we want to be in control.  What we're very good at is getting impatient and grumbling.  We want to know right now what the future holds for us and what the Lord's plans are for our lives. Can't He spell it all out for us in black and white!!??  Can't we make a few suggested about how we'd like it to be??!!  I know I'd sure like to know what my future holds - what job does He have planned for me, will I live where I'm living forever, will my business continue to grow, will I live alone for the rest of my life, how many grandchild will I have??????  Thankfully the future belongs to the Lord and He will reveal it when His time is right.  He is faithful, He keeps His promises and He looks after His family.  Even so the 'in between' is not about sitting back on our hands and 'waiting' for something to happen, we need to be an active part of the process.  We need to step outside our comfort zone, we need to live lives that reflect the Lord we serve and love.  We need to be actively striving towards our goals - accepting the doors that are closed, we pray, we knock and we wait for new doors to open.

Well I think that's about it for now.  I must say I am feeling a bit tired - the extra hours sleep with the change in daylight saving hasn't actually helped, mind you I did do a lot of driving this weekend - not that I minded but it is tiring.  I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight.  Hmmmmm does that mean I'm getting old and set in my ways??????????

Till next time.

Love and blessings
Jolanda

They (you know those people who no-one knows who they are but who seem to know everything) say 'bad things' come in threes - well after the week I've had I should be all done for a while, not that I'm superstitious.  Two of the happenings aren't huge catastrophes but all 3 mean an outlay of some money to rectify the problem.  Something I could really do without just now.

On Thursday the first 'bad thing' happened - the large old desk lamp that I use to light my cutting table started to make some crackly sound whenever I turned the switch on and off - I took this to being a bad sign and unplugged the lamp in the hope that Dad might be able to cut out the old switch and put in a new one.  Unfortunately because it was an old lamp it had become a bit brittle and after some miss-handling (rather than man-handling) the lamp head broke out of it's plastic molding and is no longer fixable - it also no longer needed the switch changed and into the wheelie bin it went. I now have a brand new lamp in the same style but in a lovely lime green colour.

On Saturday the third bad thing happened - my jug decided to stop working.  Again not a biggie and at the moment I'm boiling water on the stove - the downside of that being that you shouldn't turn the pot on walk away and become distracted with something else because once the pot starts to boil it just keeps right on boiling and boiling and boiling!!!! Maybe I should buy a whistling kettle??

I'm guessing you're wondering what the 2nd 'bad thing' was!!  Well that happened on Friday morning.  Have you ever had one of those morning where you wake up and you contemplate getting up but your head tells you to stay in bed??  Well I had that sort of morning on Friday - I just wish I'd taken some notice. My alarm went off as usual at 5.45am so up I got to go to the pool.  All was going well till I went to back out of the garage - something I have successfully done many, many times till that morning.  I was a wee bit distracted and suddenly the air was filled with this terrible grinding and screeching of metal and I found myself up against the metal flashing of the garage door with the front left side of the car -I had turned too sharply while still in the garage and it honestly sounded like I had can opened the side of the car.  Thankfully it sounded way worse than the actual damage is, although there is a nice big dent near the light, the bumper is loose and there are a heap of scratches in the paintwork, some very deep.  Tomorrow I'll go see a panel beater (or 2) to see what the financial damage will be to get the car fixed.  Grrrr I was so mad at myself for being so stupid, it even ruined my swim :0(  I really should have stayed in bed!!!!!!

Apart from those 3 mis-adventures my week has otherwise been pretty good.  I have managed to sort out my house insurance with Mum and Dad's help.  We had to do a bit of measuring to work out the house size, they have recently done it for their house so knew what was all involved.  Even so it was all a little bit confusing to start with but we eventually got it sorted.  This week I have an appointment at the bank to see what sort of deal they can do for me insurance wise.

The job situation is very quiet- nothing in the paper or online that is appropriate for me at the moment and still no news re the funding for the English Language job.  I'm not worried but I do feel a bit disheartened and a bit like I'm drifting with no real course to follow.  It is a bit of an unsettling feeling really. I stay busy with the Rawleigh business and sewing plus the household things.  Sometimes when it is sunny I sit outside with my book and pretend I'm on holiday - I haven't has one of those in a while.

My rebel gene popped up again recently - it tends to happen every now and then resulting in me doing things like piercing my own ears as a teenager because I wanted extra holes, getting a tattoo when I turned 40 (a butterfly on my ankle) and then on Friday I got another.  I'd been thinking about it for a while and turning 50 seemed like a good time and reason to do it.  This time it's my favourite Bible text - John 3:16 and it's on the inside of my wrist. Did it hurt?  No not really although it's a bit itchy at the moment.  Would I do it again - probably, but I have no plans anytime soon.  The rebel gene is back under wraps for the time being ;0)

My veggie garden is slowing down. I will need to look into planting some winter veggies.  I think the beans have done their dash and the pepper plants are also slowing down.  The only thing still going strong is the silver-beet. Oh and I have 3 passionfruit plants that have just started to grow, probably from the compost.  I will eventually transplant them when they are bigger.  I don't really want them growing in the veggies garden.  The feijoa trees are starting to drop their fruit and there are heaps and heaps and heaps.  Happy to give them away if anyone wants some.

Wishing you all a blessed week.

Love and hugs
Jolanda

Tropical cyclone Lusi has been and gone and the damage wasn't bad at all down here where I live.  One of my trees has lost a number of branches and there are plenty of leaves and feijoas lying on the lawn, but otherwise all is well.  I did think at one stage the wind was going to take away part of my tin fence, but it was just the feijoa tree whacking against it.  I had stacked the outdoor furniture up just in case.  Last night we finally had a good amount to rain here in Levin - which the garden desperately needed.  It definitely isn't cold over the weekend, in fact last night it was a sleep under a sheet only night it was so warm.  Long may the warm weather continue as I'm sure not ready for winter yet.

I don't actually have a heck of a lot to write about to be honest.  My life isn't really that interesting anymore - do you really want to hear about how last week I did all the lawns, gardens and housework?  Or how I spent a day banishing the spiders from around the outside of the house by giving the house a good wash and then washing the windows as well inside and out?  No I guess not!!!

One really exciting thing that happened in the last week and a half was that grandson Noah turned one.  Yip the little man is one.  Where has the year gone??  He had a party on Saturday for his little friends and the family and he was really really spoilt.

Ryan and Ineke and Inge came for the night so they could be at the party too.  It was so cute seeing how protective and proud Inge is of her wee cousin Noah.  She told everyone that Noah was 'her' cousin.  She will miss him when she goes away.  It was a real blessing that the bad weather that was forecast because of Lusi was slow at arriving so we were able to spend a bit of time outside. 

The other 'exciting' (well not really) thing that happen is that my youngest son Joel broke his arm while playing twilight soccer on Thursday evening - landing hand down on the hard ground that has seen no rain for probably the last 2 or so months is only going to have one outcome - broken bones.  Apparently his wrist was bent like the kinky part of a fork - if you imagine the fork prongs being your fingers and the fork handle being your arm you'll get the picture.  He had a very, very, very long wait at the hospital and finally on early Friday afternoon the hospital staff got him sorted.  They had to numb Joel's arm and then they were literally pulling, twisting and tugging on his arm to get the bones realigned so they could put a cast on -  very yucky to watch or so daughter Aimee and Joel's girlfriend Tia said.  It makes my stomach all queasy just thinking about it.   Understandably he is/was in a lot of pain.  Joel will be in plaster for the next 6 weeks with no work for at least the next 2-3 and then hopefully light duties.  Thank goodness it's his right arm as he is left handed.  No more playing soccer for a while either.  He decided he needs a hobby as he is already feeling bored at the prospect of not being able to do much for the next few weeks.

None of my 3 job applications have come to anything.  I heard last week about the one I was really keen on and it too was a no goer.  I had a wee cry cause I felt really disappointed, but I'm ok about it now.  Something will eventually come up which is just perfect and in the meantime I trust that the Lord will supply my daily needs - which He does.  The Rawleigh business continues to flourish and I have even started to sell a bit more from my Jens Jems and Moppie range.

I am only sewing for Inge and Noah at the moment - I made Noah a lovely jacket for winter and I still need to make one for Inge.  I trialed a new pattern for a cape which turned out very well and Inge loves it esp as it has Nijntje (Miffy) on the back.  Here are some photos of her modeling it.

Speaking of photos I have 2 others to share. The one below is the stunning gift I received for my birthday which was made by my very talented friend Diana.  She makes miniatures and she made me a miniature sewing room and included in it all the things I like, even Jack features in it. It is super cute.

The other photo I will share is of me in my dress.  I have been umming and ahhing about whether to post it, but I did promise so here is is.  This is me with my  mum.  Excuse the sunnies but it was a very bright sunny afternoon.

 So there you go!!

The aqua jogging is still going great and I am loving it when I get there.  I have been managing to go 4 morning a week but it sure is very dark now at quarter to 6 when I get up.  Sometimes I am tempted to just roll over and go back to sleep, but amazingly I don't - not sure where this strong will power is coming from.  Maybe it's a needs must thing esp as there is no one here to encourage me to get up.  Having said that though Jack does have it worked out and when my alarm goes off he is usually sitting on my side of the bed as he knows the alarm also means it's breakfast time for him.  Nothing like a set of pleading eyes that say 'feed me' to get you up out of bed.  While the weather is still relatively 'warm' in the morning I will continue to get up and go to the pool - once winter sets in it might be a whole new kettle of fish!!

I had a thought the other day while sitting outside enjoying the beauty of God's creation.  It's a thought that some of you might find a bit strange or even hard to understand, but I guess for me it all part of the moving froward process.  It stuck me that I no longer grieve/mourn Roy's death - I feel great comfort in the knowledge that he is at home with the Lord and that he is not here doesn't make me sad anymore. Although I don't mourn for Roy I guess that selfishly I do sometimes mourn for myself and what I have lost and the emptiness that has been left in my life. I still miss him and I miss the things we had together and the things that I might never have again - I know that is part of the coming to terms with being alone, but it is the thing that I still struggle with the most. 

I have  recently been listening to sermons by Dr Timothy Keller and in one of his sermons he spoke about finding fulfillment in the Lord because He alone can satisfy my deepest needs.  I need to love the Lord more than anything else in my life.  Dr Keller talked about the Lord needing to be the spouse of my soul and His love for me needs to be the most important thing in my life.  I love that thought - that the Lord is the spouse of my soul.  That is so awesome.  Whether married or single the Lord needs to be the spouse of our soul.  We shouldn't look to our marriage spouse for the fulfillment that only the Lord can give.  We shouldn't have to 'change' to make our spouse feel fulfilled nor should we expect them to 'change' so we feel fulfilled, it isn't going to work the way we want and we will be constantly let down. When we truly look to the Lord for our fulfillment we can accept our marriage partner as God created them - flaws and all.  As singles we also need to look to the Lord for our fulfillment rather than pining for what we don't have.

Well on that note I'm going to call it a night (not literally) although I will going to bed early as it was an early (dark) start this morning and I want to catch up on some sleep.

Wishing you all a blessed week.

Love and hugs

Jolanda

It's the beginning of March and it feels like winter has arrived - it is cold, wet and windy here today.  For the first time in more than probably 4 months I've put on socks and a sweatshirt - however I'm doing a Roy and still wearing shorts.  Anyone who knew Roy knows he was known for wearing shorts all year round.  My phone app tells me that tomorrow will be better and the day after will be even better so I haven't completely given up on a bit more summer.

I can honestly say that the week that has just been has been 'interesting' and I'm glad it's over!!

On Monday I looked after Noah as usual, however he was still not well.  He was off his food and slept a lot needing lots of Oma cuddles, which Oma was happy to provide.  That evening his Papa and Mama came down with the bug too.  I was still feeling fine.

At 6am on Tuesday morning I went swimming as usual.  Later that morning I had an appointment at the bank to talk about my mortgage - its fixed term is about to end and I wanted to talk about options.  However I soon discovered that nothing could be done until the property title had been changed as that was still in our joint names, so I rang the lawyer and they got that all sorted for me.  Yesterday I went in to sign on the dotted line and now it all belongs to me - cold comfort really and not something that I actually don't feel like celebrating as it is actually rather sad.  It is one of the last things that needed to be done.  Now I wait for the lawyers bill :0(

On Tuesday I also got asked to come for an interview the next day for a job I had applied for as Playgroup Manager for a Playgroup run by one of the local Churches.  On Wednesday morning I didn't go swimming because I woke up not feeling so great.  I thought it might just be butterflies because of the interview - but it wasn't.  I made it through my interview which actually went very well, however afterwards I still had the butterflies feeling - in fact every time I moved I felt like being sick.  I went home and lay on the couch for a while.  Lying down I felt fine but when I sat up the nausea hit with vengeance.  At 4pm I locked up the shop and house and went to bed and slept pretty much straight through until 7.30am the next day.  Oh I did get a phone call that evening to say that although I had interviewed very well and ticked all the boxes I didn't actually get the job but I was 2nd choice - I guess it was a boost in confidence to know that I'd done so well even if it's a bit of an odd feeling to be told you're 2nd best. I was actually too sick at the time to be upset and have since given it very little thought.

Being sick sucks, but having no-one to look after you sucks even more.  I haven't felt so sick and miserable in a long long time.  I thought I might get sick after Roy died (I'd heard of it happening to others) but I never did, maybe this was a delayed reaction.  Thursday is a bit of a blur - I know I didn't do much and I didn't eat much and I had a whooper of a headache - that was probably due to a lack of coffee.  The upside is that I lost 3kg - however I really don't recommend being sick as a weight loss program.  My appetite is still not great and it's more a matter of eating because I have too rather than because it's so appealing. Otherwise I feel fine.  I haven't been back to the pool yet either as I still feel very tired.  My immune system has obviously taken quite a hit with this bug. I hope to go to the pool again tomorrow as I sure am missing it.

On Friday I received the news that the husband of one of my dear sister chicks had been involved in a serious life changing motorbike accident the evening before.  What a shock it was to hear this news and my tears flowed for my dear friend and her hubby and family, even as I thanked the Lord for sparing  Bill's life.  The road they now have to travel will be hard and long but they have the assurance that the Lord will be with them and He will continue to uphold them and that He will graciously supply all they need every day. What greater comfort can you have than knowing that the Lord is on your side.  It is great to hear that although tired and in pain Bill is progressing well and has a positive spirit.

As I had recovered from my illness by Friday I headed up to Hastings as planned with Aimee and Noah to celebrate Inge's 3rd birthday. She was so excited to be having a party with all her friends although when they all arrived she was a little bit overwhelmed.  It was so nice seeing Inge and Noah interacting together.   We had a wonderful time however it was bitter sweet as this is probably the last time we will be able to celebrate Inge's birthdays with her for a while - at the end of April  Ryan, Ineke and Inge are off to England to live - indefinitely.  This is the news that I was not able to tell you about way back in December. Ryan had 4 teaching job offers and has accepted one at a school somewhere in Surrey.  I am very sad that they are going and will miss them very, very much - but this is something they feel they need to do, so then they should do it.  I need to entrust them into the Lord's care and trust that when the time is right that He will bring them safely home again to New Zealand.  In the meantime thank goodness for Skype!!

As if our emotions hadn't taken enough of a battering the last few weeks we were dealt another blow on Sunday night with the shocking and tragic news that Richard's younger brother had taken his own life that day.  Talk about stunned - it is one of those things you hear or read about but never expect to have it effect your own family even if it is indirectly.  I really missed Roy on Sunday night - he had always been the spiritual head of our family and it struck me as I prayed with and for Richard and Aimee that that mantle has now fallen on me.  It was a HUGE step out of my comfort zone to ask Richard and Aimee if it was ok if I prayed for them, I have never been the leader in those sorts of things, just the follower but I felt prompted to pray for them and am pleased I did it. Please pray for Richard and Aimee as they come to terms with this tragic loss.  May they find their strength and comfort in the Lord, esp as they struggle with what has happened.

On the job front things are still progressing slowly.  I just heard today that things are looking up in the funding department and we should know something within the next 3 weeks so that is good news.  I have also applied for a 20 hour work from home job which I am really, really keen on and I'm praying that the Lord will open this door for me.  Meanwhile the Rawleigh business is booming with heaps of sales lately so I'm kept pretty busy with that - God does provide, yet we forget that so quickly.

Well that is a brief overview of the 'interesting' week that I've had - there are plenty of prayer points in there that's for sure.

Oh before I go here is a very cute photo of my 2 favourite little people.  Inge was all dressed to go to a birthday party.  I love her rather sassy pose.

Till next time.

Love and blessings.

Jolanda

Time to sit down and put pen to paper  - so to speak.  My problem is where to start as a lot has happened since I  wrote my last blog.  The last 2 weeks have been filled with times of joy and happiness but also with sadness and loss.

My birthday weekend was awe-some!  It was so good to spend time with my children and grandchildren.  The house we stayed at was a large stunning old Villa surrounded by beautiful gardens.  It was very peaceful and relaxing.  On the Saturday afternoon  we  invited family and close friends to come and join the celebrations and with the weather being beautiful we were outside most of the afternoon/evening and I think everyone had an great time.  My children did me proud - they churned out an almost endless supply of wonderful tasting pizza's which were cooked in the very, very large pizza oven.  They ran everything smoothly and did an awesome job.  My very talented daughter made the most amazing birthday cake for me which truly blew everyone away.  I wore my new dress and felt greatly complimented when my youngest son saw me and said - "Wow mum you look great" - love you hun.  Thanks too for all other compliments I received - it was a nice wee ego boost ;0).  And it's nice to know all my swimming is paying off.  I have since bought myself another dress - that makes 2!! - amazing the things you suddenly do at 50 :0)

My birthday party was a wonderful occasion, a time of creating new memories and although I did have a 'wee' teary  moment when everyone sang happy birthday I feel very blessed, not only by my wonderful family and extended family but also by the dear friends who came to celebrate with me.  I want to thank you all for not only making my 50th birthday a wonderful celebration but also for your support and encouragement since Roy's death.  I am honored to call you my friends. Thank you too for all the lovely cards and gifts. I have been very spoilt.

Here are some photos, but not one of me in my dress as I don't actually have one yet.  I might post one later.

Manakau Retreat

I was allowed to sleep in this wonderful room since it was my birthday!

My birthday cake - it was very yummy too.

On Sunday morning we woke to the news that the Lord had called Mum N (Nana) home to be with Him.  We all shed tears, not so much of sorrow, but more relief that her suffering was now over and she was finally at peace.  On the Thursday before my birthday Nana had suffered another stroke and things didn't look good so the news of her passing into glory really came as no surprise.  We decided rather than stay out at the Villa, that we'd head home.  We all went to visit Dad N (Pop) which he really appreciated.

The week that has since past has been a flurry of activity - family arrived from Australia, funeral preparations where made, more family arrived from different parts of NZ and from Australia - some were delayed because airports were closed due to fog but they all finally made it, some of the  Aussies had to travel the 'long' way to get here - via Auckland rather than flying into Wellington which meant an all night road trip down to Levin.  All Pop and Nana's 14 grandchildren were able to be at the funeral.

Pop with his 14 grandchildren

The funeral service for Nana was held on Friday - I wasn't sure how I was going to react, but it was actually ok.  Two of the songs we sang at Roy's funeral were also sung at Nana's and they were very hard  for me to sing, but otherwise I was fine. Maybe because the funeral firstly was less personal to me, but also there was a difference because of the age of the person who had died. I can now finally say I have been to the cemetery and although for a moment it was hard to see the spot where Roy was buried, it was also a bit of a relief to have finally done it and having all my children and family with me made it a lot easier.  I had actually been curious as to what the grave would look like and I was pleased to see a small cross with his name on it marking to spot of his earthly remains.  My Dad made a lovely comment as we were about to leave - he said "On resurrection day this is going to be a really busy place" - what an awesome thought.

As I said it has been a time of happiness and sadness - a whole bunch of firsts have been faced and through it all the Lord has upheld and sustained not only me but the whole family.  Today the last of the family departed Levin and now the reality of what has happened will hit Pop. He has been amazingly strong this last week, but please pray for him, that he might feel the Lord's continuing comfort and strength as he faces the days, weeks and months ahead without a visit from his beloved Janna.

Even with everything going on I have still been Aqua jogging 4 morning this last week, applied for 3 more jobs, looked after Noah and had him stay over night - which ended up being a bit of a bad night as the poor wee guy threw up twice during the night right through his cot and over himself. In the end I took him into my bed.  I put pillows all down one side so he wouldn't fall off the edge and I 'slept' (not much) on the other edge and Noah literally used up the rest of the bed.  For such a little person he sure takes up a lot of room - needless to say I didn't get a lot of sleep that night.  I also washed the car, did some gardening and weeding, had people for lunch, dinner and staying a few nights, loads of washing (thanks to Noah) and been busy with Rawleigh customers.  And the weather has been hot, hot, hot even at night which has meant only sleeping under a sheet with all the windows open and being eaten for dinner by the mozzies - I have 7 bites on the top part of my left arm and they are sooooooo itchy.  I'm thinking I might need to apply insect repellent before bed to keep the wee suckers from using me as their meal.

Oh that's the other thing that happened on Tuesday this week I again had no hot water - this time I didn't have a major meltdown but rang Electra who sent around someone to check the meter box and this time it wasn't the pole fuse that had blown but the fuse in the meter box.  The Electra guy changed the fuse and when he popped it back in it blew straight away so he said the fault was with the element and that I'd need the services of an electrician.  I rang my friendly electrician and he came and fixed the problem and also replaced the thermostat - which was prob the original as it was in Fahrenheit and no longer working - sometimes at night you could hear the cylinder bubbling.  It will be interesting to see what sort of difference this will make to my power bill.  

All in all it has been an eventful few weeks with much more to come over the next few weeks.  The weekends on my March calendar are getting very full with birthday parties to attend, 2 for my grand children and one for my oldest son. I was thinking about my non-existent social life the other day - not that Roy and I were social butterflies, but we'd have a meal out now and then, go to the stock cars or a movie but I'm not going to do those things by myself - so I now have the social life of a hermit!!!!  How sad is that - lol!!  I need to get a life!!!!

Well that's enough wonderings for this edition.

Thanks again for your continued, love, support and encouragement.

Till next time.

Love and blessings

Jolanda

It sure has been a roller coaster few weeks with highs and lows and plenty to keep me busy.

I was blessed to have two of my favourite boys come and stay last weekend.  Ryan and Noah.  Ryan came to spend the weekend with me while Ineke and Inge went down to Christchurch for a family wedding.  Noah came for the weekend as his Papa and Mama had a work do to go to all day Saturday.  The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways for not only was it a blessing to be able to spend some quality mother son time with my eldest son, but the Lord knew that Ryan would be needed to help out in a much more dramatic way.

On Saturday afternoon Roy's Mum (Nana to all her grandchildren) suffered a massive brain bleed (stroke) and was taken to Palmerston North Hospital.  Ryan was able to organise things from this end and arranged to take Pop (Dad N) up to Palmy on the Saturday evening to spend sometime with Nana.  At that stage the doctors were unsure if she'd make it through the night.  On the Sunday after church Ryan again picked Pop up - no easy feat as Pop needs help (a lot of it) to get in and out of the car and is wheelchair bound, and Ryan again took him up to Palmy to see Nana.

I also went up to Palmy along with Joel and his girlfriend Tia to drop Noah off at home and then we headed to the hospital to see Nana.  She was asleep when we got there and snoring and for a moment I was back in Roy's hospice room on the last day he was with us - boy that was a really, really hard moment and it has taken me a few days to work through the emotions that have resurfaced.  You think that the wounds are well and truly healed over when in fact they are only lightly healed and it doesn't take much to break them open again.  When I mentioned how I'd felt to the boys they said they had exactly the same reaction when they saw Nana.

At the moment Nana is relatively stable - although she is paralyzed down her right side and has little to no speech.  The hope is to move her to the hospital here in Levin so it will be easier for Pop to visit her everyday and less distance for daughter Joc to have to travel to come and visit her parents.  Meanwhile we pray.  What do we pray for??  For healing - of course, but also that if it is His will that the Lord calls Mum home - it is very hard to see her suffering and Pop as well.  But the Lord has numbered her days as He has for us all and He will call her home when His timing is right and not a minute, in fact not a second before then - so we also pray for the Lord's strength, comfort and peace to face the days and weeks to come and that in all things His will be done.

The Lord sends all sorts of situations into our lives that can stop us dead in our tracks for a while, be it sickness, a serious accident, a death, a debilitating physical condition, unemployment etc, etc. We can pray that the Lord will relieve us of the situation that we find ourselves in and He may well answer those prayers, but we shouldn't be sitting back on our hands expecting the Lord to answer the way we want Him too because it's not about our will but His will being done.  God may yet give us what we ask for but it'll be in His timing not ours, so we need to make the best of the situation we find ourselves in.  We have a responsibility to face the reality of the situation and we need to be pro-active so that we can cope with the path the Lord has currently set before us and should He answer our prayers the way we want further down the road what a blessing that will be.

So that was the lows of this past week - although even in the sadness of what has happened with Nana there has also been the joy of strengthened family bonds as this wonderful family that I have the privilege to be apart of  does what it does so well, which is to be there for each other and support each other in times sadness as well as in times of joy.  

So the last 2 weeks were not all sadness there were some highs too.  Spending time with Ryan and Noah was definitely a high.  Ryan and I took Noah for a long walk, we did lots of talking and we played a number of games of Carcassonne and Crib.  Noah had a great time getting to know Uncle Ryan and Uncle Joel too when he came by for dinner.

On Thursday (Waitangi Day) Aimee and I had a stall at the Waitangi Day Gala run by the Rongotea Lions.  It was the first outside market I've done since Roy died and it actually went really well despite the wind. We did have to battle with flying stock and toppling clothes racks but we soon got it all sorted and now know what we need to do to improve things for next year.  Aimee and I work well together and the set up and pack up was a breeze.  We're pretty good and putting up and taking down a gazebo.  We both sold well and I was pleased to have taken along some Rawleigh products as they sold well too.  I had wondered how I would cope if people asked where Roy was as he was well known in the area as he had been a Scout Leader up  there when he lived in Sanson before we were married.  I only had 3 customers who asked after him, 2 were shocked to hear of his death and the other wanted to know how I was getting on as he had purchase off me via email and therefore knew of Roy's death.  So all in all it was a wonderful if tiring day and one we'll definitely do again next year - hopefully next year there will be no wind!

I have now been aqua jogging/swimming 3 times a week for 3 weeks - it isn't getting any easier to get out of bed in the morning at 5.45am esp as it's dark at the moment.  I have this running battle in my head about staying in bed verses getting up.  Getting up always wins in the end so that's good sign.  I am really loving the aqua jogging/swimming and I feel so good afterwards. I have also made a whole lot of new friends and have even been invited to their Friday morning coffee get together - I suspect that the average age of these ladies is probably somewhere between 65 and 70 years of age so I do feel a little on the young side but it sure was nice to be included even though I couldn't make it due to other commitments.  This coming week I hope to go swimming 4 mornings.

The other highlight of this past week is that on impulse I purchased an item that I haven't owned for at least 25 years I'd say if not longer. I saw it , I liked it, I tired it on and loved it so I bought it - what is it you ask - it's a dress.  Those of you who know me well will know I don't do dresses or skirts - I'm a jeans, pants and shorts kinda girl.  I think my weight loss and exercise regime has given me a new confidence to try new things and I'm starting with a dress.

I have only 4 days  left before I will be moving into a new era of my life.  On Friday (Valentine's Day) I will be turning the BIG 50!!  I best make the most of the 4 days at 49 that I have left.  The story goes that I was born very close to midnight between the 13th and 14th Feb, but by the time everything was done and dusted it was well and truly the 14th so that became my birthday.  Something that you may not know about me is that officially my name is Johanna, but Mum and Dad decided to call me Jolanda instead -it even says that on my birth notice from the newspaper.   This has made life a bit confusing at times, at one stage I even had an IRD number for each name!!   In Holland they say that when you turn 50 you've seen  Abraham (for the men) or Sarah (for the women) - apparently that means that I will have gained wisdom through experience.  So does that mean that up until then I've been un-wise!!??   I guess that's much nicer than being told you're now 'over the hill' - that's enough to make anyone feel like they're ready for the scrap heap.  50 is the new 40 I say so bring it on :0)  Even though it is another first to face I plan to enjoy it and spend a great day celebrating with family and friends.

Well I think that's it for this time.  Next week I might even have some photos to post, we'll see if anyone takes any.

Wishing you all a blessed week.

Much love
Jolanda